So it’s been almost 2 years to the blog post on quarter life crisis that I’d written. And while I’m still questioning the whole crisis phase, and why we do term it as one, my understanding of these years-in-dilemma seems to have evolved over the past year or so. Maybe because I’m to complete 26 rounds around the sun this March (definitely ageing – maturing, to feel better!), the past years have started seeming like a great book to read & learn from.
What we term as quarter-life crisis is actually the phase where we get ready to pursue our purpose. (Yeah, it’s that simple!) The crisis isn’t much of the warfare that goes in our mind because of the outside world, but the continuous act of questioning ourselves – brutally. This is a phase when we face our demons, and realize some of the world’s. This age is when we find our true purpose (or probably come closer to knowing it), and this age is when we discover how impactful our little actions are!
Much of my profile nowadays is of talking to people, helping them answer their own questions. (No wonder friends call me a consultant!) And many of my days & nights have been spent motivating them to achieve their visions, living their dreams and doing their best – often times this “them” referring to me. Not unanticipated! There IS so much of confusion during this age that the best way to avoid falling into deep trenches of the mind and getting lost, is to seek out. And seek within at times.
After a decade & a half of being schooled, told what needs to be done & what not, we find our quarter life to be actually the time to find out what we want to do, not what the society tells us. This thing, that many philosophers would call, the realization of the purpose of life, is the vague idea of how our utopia would be. So when we are actually given this chance of being ourselves in this big bad world (it isn’t that bad as it’s coined though!), those years of relying on someone else for the answers make us unprepared to take up this mammoth task of figuring out stuff on our own. This figuring out is the crisis, not the age.
While this phase is to find out what we can do best, it is also the age of knowing ourselves & the brilliance of our minds. Things as simple as realizing how caring we can be, how some things really move us and how unworthy most of our tensions in life are. The twenties offer us a view of the better things we can focus our energies upon, and what best we can do to create a ripple of change.
(All seems right out of a self-help book, eh? I really do kid myself with all such gyaan daily! :D )
So 480 words above, but have I actually moved past this crisis & really figured it all yet? NO!
But that’s the beauty!
Another of my epiphany moments in the past year has been the realization (and it’s very simple if you look at it) that the journey is more important than the destination. After spending a lot of my time in the past years chasing my yearly goals & much of my life goals, I tend to feel indifferent towards them when I’m actually close to achieving them. Because it’s then that I realize – the fun wasn’t in achieving these goals, but in the journey till that moment. Learning, failing, questioning myself, changing myself, thinking high of myself, and days of thinking low, wanting to be perfect and yet not being shy of being imperfect, moments when I learnt how much my society valued me, and moments when I learnt how much of myself is yet to be poured out into the world, days of thinking what I am doing wasting my years (this happened last night too), and days when I could exactly point out what I am aiming at in the near future (this happened this morning too. You can realise the craziness! It’s a sinusoidal curve of getting lost & seeking within). Each one of these moments have given a profound understanding of myself, and what I want to fill up my life with.
Well, will I want to live in another crisis state? Maybe yes.
And will I term it as crisis? Maybe no.
This quarter life is a phase of learning ourselves, not a crisis. The becoming of a better being.
Till I age more & type in even more pseudo-wisdom, adios!