Life has funny ways was of making you introspective. Making you think deep into normal stuff and striking you with a realisation you never had before than that moment.

I, in the past week, went to visit one of my Uncles. He had just come home a few days back from the hospital. Post a brain surgery.

Amongst all the people in our family, this person – one of the most outgoing personalities & someone who would take care of everyone around and keep them happy & upbeat – falling ill, and so severely, was as bit shocking as one could imagine. And having gone through a brain surgery, as freaky as one couldn’t even imagine. But kudos to him, the doctors & his immediate family, all went well.

The point isn’t in the surgery, it’s in the cause behind developing a condition so grave. Hypertension. Daily stress & anxiety which gave way to high blood pressure, which went a bit ignored & turned into a lethal nerve damage. Well, the best of us have our doubts. And seemingly so, Uncle got caught between trying to make everyone happy while having his own insecurities of whether he was doing his best to make everything around as perfect as possible, neglecting himself & his carefree vibe.

Seeing him so weak, and so low on energy really saddened me. I fondly recollected one of the last occassions we had met on, at a family wedding. He had lovingly patted my head and very proudly, yet animatedly, told my parents, “You will have the hardest time finding someone for our daughter. You really can’t match her intelligence and loving nature!” Much of self praise out here, but that recollection was one of the reasons I was so sad to see him this way. He had lost so much weight & he could only speak very slowly, pausing quite occasionally to give himself some rest. Not at all like the loud & boisterous tone that day.

Stress, it had taken that energy away.

And if you think about it, most of the stress came from the ticker. The clock overhead which kept on ticking. Always making sure we realise that we are losing something – time.

You’re stressed because you have not completed your education by 23. You’re stressed because you have not got a high paying job & a steady career by 25. You’re stressed because you haven’t got married by 27. You’re stressed because you’ve not extended your family yet, not had your offsprings and you’re already 35. You’re stressed because you’ve not raked in your millions or a C-class position in your career by 42.

But, wait a second! Who decides when to do what? Who tells you that you should feel old since you’re 50? Who tells you that you lost your youth the moment you crossed over the 30 line? And who tells you that it’s a day already when you don’t even feel like sleeping!? (Valid question, because I certainly don’t at the count of 12 midnight!)

Social constructs of time & age. It is all in the mind!

While the ticker is certainly a beneficial tool in case of avoiding procrastination and delaying a work incessantly (people like me would understand that creativity is a faucet which is only turned on by a deadline, as Calvin said), it does no good in making you go into deep bouts of thinking and overthinking and take away the pleasures of the life right now! I mean why would you want to just move beyond that moment when you see a new born baby excitedly smiling and looking at you with bright cheery eyes!? Those moments are deep & long, beyond any unit of measurement that we can think of. So again, why the clock? Why measure years, months & days?

Well, I think I can keep on ranting over this again & again. But life being fair at times, made me come across this quote:

The thing I like most about time is that it’s not real. It’s all in the head. Sure it’s a useful trick if you wanna meet someone at a specific place in the universe to have tea or coffee. But, that’s all it is, a trick. There’s no such thing as the past, it exists only in the memory. There’s no such thing as the future, it exists only in our imagination. If our watches were truly accurate the only thing they would ever say is now.

– Damien Echols

How beautifully summarised! (Something I couldn’t in all the words above, oh well!)

And while wrapping this rant up, I only wish more of us start living in the now. Enjoy the moonlight by the window on a clear starry night, enjoy the bright sun & green lawns in the garden nearby & most importantly enjoy the people around. As much as you wouldn’t be realising, these moments – yes all of them, are worth savouring. And nothing, at least not so in my experience, cuts you free from the chain of the ticking clock but gratitude & happiness in that moment. :)

So go ahead & have a cute gif conversation. Best way to smile in the recent times, as discovered by yours truly ;)

Adios, till the next meeting! (Very soon it’ll be!)